People are NOT their Behaviors
(accept the person, change the behavior)
We know that people are all unique and they all have their own world views. Because we all have a unique genetic make-up and environmental up bringing we all have different beliefs, behaviors and characteristics.
Our unconscious is built mostly from birth to age 7, that being said, most of us do not choose the behaviors and beliefs we have.
As our behaviors come to the surface as an adult, we need to accept that they come from the unconscious mind and we can separate that from the conscious person. We are mostly unaware of the triggers that create our behaviors and we almost always don't understand why they come up in the first place.
To understand the person, we must look past the behavior. The behavior can be changed and addressed, the person has a chance to grow with or past the behavior.